God - YOU know?

God - YOU see?

I cannot relay this to my family, absurdly because they already know and dislike. I cannot spill soul to a friend, none live close or none I care to admit my failure of ultimate choice to. Somehow just let me know You know and You see. Unfairness so large my soul struggles and shakes and refuses to contain it. So monstrous in size and scope that my protection of my kids solely, every day anew, prevents me from wiping it all off, clean and walking away to attempt to recover some dignity and self-respect. Nothing else, at all. It's all my perverted sense of duty, and some shred of thought that in all this, Your purpose is present, though I'm enraged at knowing how deeply I'm hurt, and how thoughtlessly, and how persistently.